Leah and I are sometimes impatient people. We have a lot of patience for each other, but our patience with God can wear thin. We tell ourselves that we’re learning how to follow Him, how to have stronger faith, and other lessons, but I think we may be missing the most important lesson of all:
That we’re meant to enjoy depending on God.
Ever wish you could be a little kid again? I sometimes do. No real responsibilities, summers off, no concerns about money or looking for work. Yeah, I had homework and some chores, but those are comparatively light to the responsibilities I now have. I was able to depend on my mother for providing for us. It was on her to get us food, pay the rent, get us clothes, and take us where we needed to go.
I was a little precocious, but I didn’t fully appreciate the burden on her until I got married. A lot of people don’t want to depend on others because they don’t want to be subject to the rules of these others. When you live at home, you’re subject to your parents’ rules. Independence means freedom, but it also means that it’s on you to provide for yourself.
The problem is that the things you need most you can’t get for yourself. I don’t mean a car and a house and a retirement account; I mean a strong faith and the earnest desire to be good because you love God and not for any reward. I mean a love for people that doesn’t depend on how someone in your past or present has treated you. I mean a heart that yearns for God.
I was thinking about why Leah and I are still waiting and then the thought hit me that we may not have money simply because our need of it is what God has been using to grow our faith.
I think God withholds things from us sometimes not just because granting us these things would take us away from Him, but because granting them might stunt our growth. If we were to inherit $10 million tomorrow, we’d praise God and tell people how He came through for us and believe more strongly than ever that He provides when we don’t expect it…but then the joy would fade as the money became taken for granted and, though we’d still be Christians, we’d have less reason to seek after God.
He wants us to seek Him as a child seeks his father, not just for His blessings, but out of love for Him. Leah and I are learning a lot in this time, but we haven’t yet learned how much we need God outside of money. We’re getting there, but He is not yet our Father in all areas, neither do we trust Him enough to depend on Him for everything, even when we have all of what we think we need.