I’ve been struggling a lot since we moved here with my regrets, particularly with taking five years off to write. The books haven’t been selling well and now that I’m looking for a job, every recruiter is telling me that I’m going to have to restart my career, that my five years of experience is almost worthless right now. It’s very disheartening to hear that I am competing essentially with college grads instead of with people who have five or even two or three years of experience.
I was especially regretting it tonight after hearing it again from a recruiter. It made me wish I’d never written at all. Yet my wife (oh, is she patient with me!) reminded me that had I not written the book, I wouldn’t have learned the lessons that have changed my life so much for the better (even though there is and likely always will be work to do on that front). I may not have gone to Colorado Springs at all and, even if I had, she probably wouldn’t have been interested in a financial analyst or accountant. God had me write, maybe just to change me, maybe just to get her, but He had me do it, knowing full well what would happen because of it.
God has a plan, and for now, that plan looks to include a low-level job for me. I don’t know how long I’ll be in it or how He’ll use it, but I think the purpose is to teach me the lesson that my treasures are not supposed to be built up on earth. I’m supposed to worry more about serving Him and His kingdom than serving Leah and our future children.
I wish I could finally pass this test, but I’m getting closer. Closer to taking the leap of faith that God needs me to take if He’s truly going to use me.