Honest question: How strong is your faith right now?
Mine is recovering now, but it’s been getting seriously tested of late. And it broke down this past weekend. I was done; I had given up on ever providing for my wife, getting a job, or becoming even half the man she deserves. I had no faith in God to help us and a storm of fears beating me down.
Leah reminded me of a few things, though:
1. God has promised us that He won’t let us down.
2. He cannot deny Himself; if He has promised it, He will do it.
3. My value doesn’t come from how well I provide for her.
4. No matter what happens, she loves me and will stay with me.
I needed to hear all of them. Most of the pressure I was putting on myself was because I was so afraid of letting her down. I wanted so badly to come home from an interview and proudly announce that I got a job. (Btw, I just had one this morning and things are looking good, please pray if you think about it. Thanks.) Just hearing her tell me, several times, that she’d love me even if we were homeless meant the world to me.
What got me out of it, however, wasn’t beginning to realize (for I’m not fully there yet) how much she loves me, but remembering that God loves me even more. I also remembered that God doesn’t need me to provide. The Israelites didn’t have to provide for themselves during the 40 years they wandered in the desert. God sent manna for them every day. Much later, God used a fish to pay taxes for Peter and Jesus. I’m not saying that God doesn’t want me to work, just that He has the power to provide in whatever manner He sees fit.
I need to be more like a little child when his father promises him something: just accept it, be grateful, and wait.