One of the first realizations of starting to find my confidence is that it was a start, a launching point. Confidence is certainly a treasure, but you likely won’t happen upon it all at once. Confidence will grow the more you believe that you are valuable simply because God says you are.
The key word there is “grow.” You can’t expect to read my book (Your True Value, Johnathan Ness) or anyone else’s and just magically be confident. It took a long time for the belief that you are inadequate to form; it will take some time to undo that belief and burn another into your heart.
This means that you shouldn’t be upset with yourself when you fall short, when you go back to your old habits of beating yourself up or thinking the worst of yourself. It doesn’t mean that you’re worthless or that the program isn’t working for you. It means that there is still more work to be done. Stick with it. When you fail, go back to the Bible and re-learn who God says you are. Reinforce that belief often, especially when you’re first learning it.
And know that there will always be room for growth. I still have my moments, though they are far, far less common than they were before, where I get mad at myself for something small or start to let other people’s opinions of me affect my decisions. This doesn’t mean I have failed overall, merely that I am on a long road to a perfection I won’t achieve in this lifetime. Instead of being angry with myself for failing to be confident, I go back to the Word and tell myself who God says I am. The anger vanishes and humility returns. Once I am calm and humble, I am confident again, not in my own abilities or achievements, but in Jesus’ sacrifice to give me a new identity.
Don’t give up, even when you relapse into old habits. You didn’t stop trying to walk just because you fell down a few times, did you? You didn’t stop learning to read because there were a few words you didn’t pick up the first time, right? It is the same here, except the payoff is even greater than learning to read or walk, because it is finding both God and yourself.