In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. So goes Genesis 1:1. Before that, though, came a decision to create them. Before the heavens and the earth, we don’t know what there was. We can postulate a vast emptiness, and perhaps even an absence of anything at all, but knowing what there was before God created everything we see is beyond our capabilities. I assume there was Heaven, a place for Him and His angels, and Hell for the devil and his fallen angels. What’s important, though, is that earth, the planets, the stars, and all else in our galaxy didn’t exist and God decided to change that. Before the change could happen, a decision to make the change had to happen.
Likewise, if you want to change your life, you must begin with a decision to change. Many people have what they think is a decision. They want to lose weight so they sign up at the gym and swear off sweets. This decision is as solid as steel…for the first week. Then they have a long day at work and decide not to go to the gym. They have a fight with their spouse and treat themselves to a snack. Within a month, they’re back to their same old habits. Why? Because the decision they made wasn’t real.
Or, perhaps better said, they didn’t want to lose weight enough to really put in the effort to do it. They liked the idea of being thin and healthy, but not the work involved. Given a choice between looking how they want to look and living how they want to live, they chose the latter.
Most people blame a lack of time for many of their new habits falling through, but that’s a weak excuse. Many of these same people have time for the latest episodes of whatever shows they watch or sporting events. If they are single and got into a relationship, they’d have time for their new partner. Simply put, you find time for the things that are important to you.
The reason I’m writing this blog is not to analyze why people have a difficult time changing their behaviors or even to offer ways to change your behaviors. I’m writing it to ask you one simple question:
Do you want to change?
My future posts will, at least so far as I can see, will all be about confidence and how to improve it. Before anything I say can help you, though, you have to want to change your confidence enough to actually put in the work to change it. It’s not easy. And it is something that will require work throughout your life to maintain, much like good eating and exercising habits are required to keep healthy and in shape.
It is, however, certainly possible and it’s even more necessary than being healthy. How much stress do you cause yourself by worrying whether you’re good enough at your job or whether your relationship partner is still into you? How often do you think about money or looks or possessions? How easily are you offended by insults or criticism? How often do your doubts and fears lead you to do things you don’t want to do to make others happy?
You don’t have to live this way, pleasing other people at the expense of yourself. But first, you have to make the decision to change. You will not change until you decide that you are willing to put in the work to change. If you are willing to put in the work, welcome aboard. My next post will be the first of several on how to actually get self-confidence.
If you’d like the full story, you can get my book here: tinyurl.com/moreconfidentyou-ness. I welcome any thoughts or questions on it.